She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
