Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
