Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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