Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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