This is not my ceiling
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
