We're facebook friends in real life
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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