Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
We smell like vodka and hangover
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