everyone is single if you try hard enough
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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