I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
