Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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