My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I believe in your delicious
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
