I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
