This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
