i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize