Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
