I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this boner is exhausting
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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