Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
