Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
