do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
sarcasm needs its own font
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
did i just pee glitter
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
