is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
