I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize