Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
