You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
