I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
