dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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