you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
