peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
