Sry I called you an 8
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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