are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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