If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You are the jesus of drinking
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
