isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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