Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
