We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
