that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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