i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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