Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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