He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Success! We fucked roommates!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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