I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
