i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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