I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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