guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
