Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
