there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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