the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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