and you said cock pushups were impossible
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
