we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
