No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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