WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
