I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
