Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
