im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
