I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
