the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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