you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
