I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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