I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
