i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
