Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
