I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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