how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
