This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
