google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
