Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
